Chemo: Round 2

16 June 2011

I usually like to let Erika write these posts. She can say things so much better than I can. But she keeps nudging me to post this one, and as I’m sitting here watching the Cisplatin drip from the bag into Tyler’s body, it seemed like something productive to do…
Tuesday night was probably one of the most difficult times we’ve had since the diagnosis. For the first time, Tyler had a really difficult time and was just wanting “his normal life back”. He just wanted to be with his friends doing what they all do during summer vacation, feeling good, eating whatever they want, and not worrying about anything but what party they are going to next. If I were in his shoes, I would have had twenty of these meltdowns before now.
It was my most difficult night since the diagnosis. I want him to have a carefree summer too. A 14-year-old shouldn’t have to worry about things like this. If I could take this from him and go through it myself, I wouldn’t even blink an eye. It would be done. I spent a lot of time that night in tears and questioning why, even though I really already know some of the answers.
The next morning, I was still having my ‘pity party’ and Ty woke up bright and happy, as usual. We went on a car ride somewhere and I told him that if I had a ton of money, we would donate it to cancer research and would make them find a cure for this stinking disease. He calmly said, “Mom, there is never going to be a cure for cancer.” I said, “Yes, there is. Maybe Tanner will be the one to find it!” (Tanner wants to be a doctor)  Tyler said, “Mom, Heavenly Father lets there be cancer on the earth so we can learn how to love and serve each other. Look what is happening to me. And think of how we will be when I am done with this.”
Wow…okay….I’m having a self-pity night, and he’s thinking about how people are serving him. He constantly reminds me that we can never be the same when this is over. I will never be the same.

I am constantly humbled by how much we have been the recipient of kindness from family, friends, and even strangers. The Black Clover Golf company, who Tyler loves, called me the other day and wants to donate a bunch of their products to Tyler’s auction.  They actually thanked me for the opportunity to help out.  Diviine Modestee, who I had never heard of until two weeks ago has offered to give Tyler 2% of their sales for the next month.  I could go on and on about the businesses and people who so willingly give of their hearts, their time, and their means for Tyler.  All who are working on the ‘Anything for a Friend’ event…I can never repay all of your kindness, but please know that our family will pay it forward forever, and never again be caught up, too busy to notice other’s needs.

Thank you so much to all of you who are working so selflessly to help Tyler and our family.  May Heavenly Father’s choicest blessings be yours!  We love you!

Ty golfing a week before he was diagnosed with cancer…..

….. He’s still got it!!!


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