One Brave Boy

05/15/12 by Team Tyler | Updates | Comments Off

Wow!  What a week it has been…I can’t even remember where my last post ended and this one began.  Last week, we came home from the hospital at the beginning of the week (I think!), and had a pretty great week.  Ty golfed with his dad and brother and friends every day that he was home.  Saturday, he was doing so well – spent three hours walking the mall shopping with Erika (he has never done that on his best day!), golfed with his dad (and beat him, I might add!).  Darren, Tyler and I went to Training Table that night to grab a bite to eat.  Halfway through his dinner, he got a strange look on his face, and said, “We need to go now…I’m not feeling good”.  We headed out of there, and he threw up in the car – lots of fresh blood.  It’s such a horrifying feeling when that happens. We hurried home and packed a quick bag and headed for the hospital.  When we talked to them on the way down, they were hoping that maybe we could just ‘tank’ him up with blood and plasma to help his blood clot, and send him home by morning.  We checked into the hospital about nine Saturday night and were hoping to be home by three in the morning.

As the night progressed, things were not getting any better.  Tyler was continuing to vomit blood and not just small amounts.  It was actually coming out of him as fast or faster than they were transfusing it into him.  His hematocrit levels were dropping quickly.  Tyler was looking worse and worse by the minute, and Darren and I were terrified.

Early Sunday morning, they had called the oncology team, the GI team, and a surgery team together to discuss a solution, if any.  They called Darren and I out into the hallway to discuss their options with us.  The GI team said if they tried to go in with a scope there was just too high a risk of perforating the stomach.  He pretty much refused to do that procedure.  The surgery team said they could open Tyler up and try to find the problem, but he probably would not survive the surgery, and whatever they fixed still wouldn’t fix the cancer.  The radiation oncologist said that they could try to go in through an artery in his leg and find the bleed and burn it, but the risks far outweighed the benefits.  When I asked what he would do if it was his son, he said, “take him home.”  We went into the room and told Tyler what the doctors had just shared with us.  He took a deep breath and said, “Let’s go home, I’m not afraid.”  My most difficult day as a mother.  Right after they told us, someone brought in chocolates for Mother’s Day – not a holiday I want to remember this year.

The doctors got us ready in a hurry to go home.  They did not think Tyler would make it through the night Sunday night.  We brought Tyler home Sunday night to be here with the family and not just in a dark, cold hospital room.  The doctors had called hospice and they were here to meet us when we got home.  It was the most surreal feeling I have ever experienced, thinking I knew what lay in store for us that night.  When Tyler woke up on Monday morning, he wanted to go golfing.  The whole family packed up and headed to Davis Golf Course and played nine holes.  It was very hard to watch – Tyler could hardly swing the club.  I didnt know if we were going to have to call an ambulance out on the golf course.  But I don’t know how he does it.  He still could hit the ball better than most on their best day!  After seven holes, he was too worn out to play anymore.  We came home, got ready for a family picture, and had some friends come visit Tyler, and went to bed again.  I cannot describe at all how it is to try and rest when one you love has health like this.  Every move Tyler made had us jumping up and making sure he was still breathing.

Tuesday morning, Tyler decided he wanted to finish the radiation treatments he started and see if it could make a difference.  He is not done fighting…Long story short, Tyler was not expected to make it through the night Sunday night.  It is Tuesday night now and he is still here and ready to fight more.  We know that Tyler will be with us for as long as the Lord has planned for him.  We are grateful for every second we have with him, as we are with every one of our children.  We have had some conversations with him and our other children that I never imagined I would have to have.  Tyler is not afraid – he knows where he is going and that what is in store for him there is wonderful.  He knows that Heavenly Father is in charge and he will leave this earth when his appointed time is here, whether it is tomorrow, next year, or in fifty years.  We still have great hope for his future.  The bleeding has stopped and he seems to be feeling a bit better.  I have to believe it is because the Lord hears the prayers of those who love Tyler.   We cannot express how grateful we are for the love and support of family, friends, and the community.  I am so sorry that I cannot answer all of the emails, texts, and messages.  I love hearing from you and I love your words of support!  Thank you for keeping our family in your thoughts and prayers.  Tyler is truly Fighting to the Finish – thanks for helping him!

 

Warriors…

05/08/12 by Team Tyler | Updates | Comments Off

I know there are so many families with Cancer Cuties that spend months and months on end up here, so I feel guilty for feeling picked on for being up here again one more weekend!  Once more, Tyler made it through a great week, golfing and enjoying time with his friends and hanging out with family.  Sunday morning rolled around and it was time to go back into the hospital.  Tyler’s blood counts were once again at ‘record lows’ and he needed another transfusion.  This time, we knew that the only way to get real answers was to get a scan.  We have really avoided those since January – they are not usually our friends.. So about two in the morning on Monday, after some pretty traumatic procedures (have you ever heard of an Anderson tube? – no fun), we headed downstairs for a CT scan.  I know every person reading this who has had experience with cancer knows the terror that grips hearts when you or someone you love is in that tube.  I can’t think of anything in life I’ve done up till now to compare to it.  We came back up and tried to get a little bit of sleep – Darren in a rocking chair and me in a ‘recliner’ – yes, that’s what they call it!

When the doctors came in the next morning, they had okay news, and not-so-okay news.  Tyler’s tumors have hardly changed – small amounts of growth in a few of the tumors, but no new metastases. We were so relieved to hear that.  We knew that GI had to also look at the scans so were waiting on them.  When they got around to us, they informed us that the larger tumor on the upper side of Tyler’s liver has now pressed up against the stomach wall, and that pressure is causing the bleeding.  If they were to go in and scope to see more, they were quite sure that they would perforate the stomach wall. Things did not sound so great then…they were going to put their heads together with the oncology team and see what the best options were.  We needed to wait another half day to see what they decided.  After calling an interventional radiology team, they decided that they need to try and shrink the tumor that is pressing on the stomach. The only way to do this is by radiating it.  I, along with many others, wondered why they didn’t radiate it in the first place – I finally learned why today.  The liver is very sensitive to radiation, andwhere Ty has so much disease in his liver, if they were to radiate each tumor, they would destroy the whole liver.  They do feel that they can localize the radiation to this one tumor and shrink it enough to take the pressure off the stomach wall.  To make a long story short, we just got back from LDS Hospital, where the radiation will be done.  I loved our new doctor there.  He was kind and gentle, and completely willing to answer all of Tyler’s questions.  He got some new ‘tats’ today, not the kind he was hoping for – he would have liked a barbed-wire around his bicep, or maybe Superman along his back.  Instead, he has four beautiful little black dots around his chest to help make sure the radiation hits exactly where they want it!

We begin the actual treatment tomorrow (Wednesday) morning.  Our family asks once again for your pleadings with the Lord on Tyler’s behalf.  We need this procedure to shrink that tumor and stop the bleeding inside Tyler.  We should know in three weeks if it will be effective.  I would also ask that if you can donate blood, do it today!  Not only in Tyler’s behalf, but I watch these little cancer cuties getting this life-saving blood and know that without healthy people being willing to donate, these little lives would be lost.  I believe that probably 20 people had to donate blood and plasma to keep Ty alive at this point.  So, so grateful to those who do this regularly.  Thank you!

I also am grateful for your prayers for the warriors in this picture below.  They are all fighting valiantly to stay alive and I am honored to be able to be able to call them ‘friends’.  These four kids know more about courage and spirit in their short lives than most learn in a lifetime.  Thank you for being willing to share your journeys with me.  I love you Tyler, Brandon, Josh and Maddie.  You will always be my heroes!

 

 

We can do hard things…

04/29/12 by Team Tyler | Updates | Comments Off

Almost two years ago, a sweet couple from Rexburg, whose parents went to school with me, lost their daughter in a tragic drowning accident.  She was inspired and brave enough to document her experiences and feelings with the world - changing many, many lives along the way.  You can read all about this amazing little family here.  She took this unbelievably horrible trial and turned it into something that could help so many others, instead of becoming bitter and angry for the rest of her life.  I didn’t know Ashley personally when I first heard about sweet Preslee and the accident, but followed her blog, as my daughter and friends did as well.  When I read the entry that said Preslee had returned to her Heavenly Father, I cried most of the day. I have since met Ashley, and she is every bit as brave and inspiring in person as she is on her blog.  She is my idol. Ashley’s motto “I can do hard things”, became my motto too.   Funny enough, I thought some things in my life back then seemed hard, and her motto helped give me motivation to do things I didn’t want to because I thought they were too hard.  Ashley and her friends made baskets for Primary Children’s Hospital, filled with blankets, toothbrushes, food items, and a little block of wood with the saying, “I can do hard things” on it.  I was given this little block for Christmas and referred to it often.  Little did I know what lay ahead for us…

After Ty was diagnosed, I really referred to it often.  I kept one on my fridge and said it to myself every time I walked by it.  The next Christmas, I was given a big frame with the words “We can do hard things” on it.  It sits where the whole family can see it and be reminded of what we CAN do.  I know with the help of the Savior, we ALL can do hard things.  Because of His sacrifice for us, he knows how hard it is for us and is there to help us make it through.

Tyler ended up back in the hospital early Saturday morning after another round of vomiting blood – fourth admit this April.  When we checked into the Emergency Room, his hematocrit level, which should be around 38 normally, was 17 – a very scary place to be.  They didn’t waste much time at all getting him checked in and things started for a transfusion.  Didn’t really even worry at first about the ‘whys’ until we got him stable.  The GI doctor that morning said he needed ten units of blood and plasma.  Saturday was spent transfusing him all day.  Today is Sunday and he has been receiving blood most of the day today as well.  They really feel like the ulcers just didn’t heal properly and his clotting factors weren’t great so he’s been on all sorts of drugs to help with that.  They don’t feel the need to go in and scope and risk the possibility of doing more damage, thank heavens!  Ty keeps reminding the doctors and nurses that he has a golf tournament coming up this Saturday that he is signed up for, so would they please get this taken care of before then!  He actually golfed 9 holes on Wednesday (thanks Johnny, James, and David!), and 18 holes both Thursday and Friday before we ended up in here!  The doctors can’t figure out how he had the strength to pick up his club, let alone golf for five hours three days in a row!

We are hoping to go home this evening (Sunday) once all the transfusions are done and he shows his levels are staying stable.  Thank you to my sweet friends who mowed my yard, cleaned my house (ouch!), brought freezer meals, and helped get me ready for the conference I have this week.  I feel so humbled and grateful to people who step in and save me before I go under…you are truly ones who ‘lift up the hands that hang down and strengthen the feeble knees’.  Thank you will never be enough.

Remember, in my sweet friend Ashley’s words, “When you find yourself in a difficult situation remember the phrase, “I CAN DO HARD THINGS.” It’s possible . Life is hard, we just have to learn how to plow through it.” Thanks Ashley, for giving me strength and inspiration to be able to face this.  I love you!

P.S. It’s Sunday evening, and we are home!  I wrote this blog post this morning in the hospital – feeling every bit like I needed to share my motto.  When we got home tonight, the doorbell rang, and there was a sweet family at my door, whom I had never met. They came to share their love and concern for Tyler, and brought a gift for our family – a beautifully framed picture that said, “I can do hard things”.  I don’t think this is coincidental.  Thank you sweet Armendariz Family!  We are touched by your thoughtfullness.  Thank you for listening!